Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Rain, rain go away...

It was an afternoon of water, when canals encroached roads. Last night someone had told me that “it was raining cats and dogs in Kochi”. White carcasses of cats and dogs (and mice) were floating along the road as I waded home through the monsoon water. For weeks, even last night, I have been dreaming rain in Chennai, yet to release itself from the ripples of Agninakshathram, a fortnight when summer peaked in Tamil Nadu.

That was in 2003 or 2004. Monsoon was always the same in Kerala. It made its debut in Kanyakumari, drowned the valleys of Thiruvananthapuram, cut off the backwater islands of Alapuzha and reminded Kochi of its origin from the sea. When the sea rose, the clogged canals took the cue, inundating the roads and the old houses dwarfed by the more recent elevated structures. Still we called rain romantic.

Clouds and classes always opened together. We were shoved off the tempting warmth of the bed on monsoon mornings. “It’s already 8’O clock and you are still sleeping?” mothers are always ahead of time (It was always 10’O clock with my grandmother, father used to say). Then we, the urban kids, launched our paper boats in the red water on the way to school and watched it drowned by a bus-inspired wave.

It’s hard to say whether we liked the plastic smell of raincoats and the damp aroma of biscuits associated with the first days in school. But the smell of coffee poured into innumerable cups as we waited in the college canteen for the rain to subside...we could spent hours after classes on the campus marooned by the rain. No one complained and no one pushed us home. On those umbrella-deficit days, rain was truly romantic.

These days, everyone is recollecting a certain nostalgia of rain. The magic of rain…it’s everywhere…movies, novels, blogs, letters…. Even newspapers, the cruel pragmatists who pour out a litany of monsoon maladies, welcome it with sweet-sounding words…respite…redemption…heavens open up…. We celebrate rains in air-conditioned bars and restaurants. Alcoholic weather, we name the evenings.

Perhaps the nostalgic celebration is an apology for the rain we miss. We crib the office hours when it rains cats and dogs outside. We envy the jobless carless couples caught in the rain. We rue the rain itself (Oh what slush and flood) with the same tongue with which we rued the sun a month ago (This heat is maddening). And if we are blessed with neither sun nor rain, still the nature is at fault (It’s a gloomy day).

When you have nowhere to go and nothing to do except daydreaming, rain is a wonderful time. It’s the best time to revisit memories of lost romances amid the newfound greenery all around you. When you have nowhere to go except offices and nothing to do except work, memories of rain is a wonderful device to keep you going. Still, if you miss the first rain, you miss a year of your life.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

The origin of Trivandrum (ട്രിവാണ്ട്രത്തിന്റെ ഉദ്ഭവചരിതം)

Trivandrum finds a mention in various historical documents from time immemorial. Oral tradition says the city is as old as its presiding deity Ananthan (Vishnu), who decided to receive his devotees lying down for fear of being swept off his feet by the too-smart denizens. Even Alexander the Great cut short his Indian expedition for fear of the Trivandrumites who would disarm him with their polite way of addressing (saar…), records OV Vijayan in ‘My Experiments with History’.

But nowhere is it written who exactly invented the name Trivandrum, more popular among the Whites and natives than the original and official Thiruvananthapuram. Now there are enough supporting materials to prove that Thiruvananthapuram literally translates into Mr Ananthan’s Town. But my experiments with history to find out the origin of Trivandrum had been rather futile until one evening when I was bringing my nephews Abin and Alwin from school.

Sorry guys. I should have written this piece in a language I know better. Because certain syllables that follow can’t be understood in any language other than Malayalam. Plus, since this piece is about cross-linguistic identities, I have to rely on Malayalam fonts to run home the point. Any inconvenience is regretted. And those who read on, please excuse the mistakes, if any, since this is my first tryst with Malayalam writing in cyberspace.

ദിവസങ്ങള്‍ക്കു ശേഷം മലയാളത്തില്‍ കൊട്ടുന്ന ആ വിദ്യയും പഠിച്ചു. ഇതിനിടയില്‍ 'എന്റെ ചരിത്രാന്വേഷണ പരീക്ഷണങ്ങള്‍' ഒന്നു കൂടി വാങ്ങി വായിച്ചു. സോറി. അലക്സാണ്ടറല്ല, ബാബറാണ്‌ ഒ വി വിജയനോട്‌ തന്റെ തിരുവന്തോരോഫോബിയ വെളിപ്പെടുത്തിയത്‌. എന്തരായാലും ലവന്‍മാരെല്ലാം ഒന്നു തന്നല്ല്. ഫ്രാഡുകള്‌...

അതു കള. കാര്യം പറയാം. ഒരു വൈകുന്നേരം ഈ ഗവേഷകന്‍ കാര്യവട്ടത്തിനടുത്ത്‌ അനന്തരവന്‌മാരുടെ സ്കൂള്‍ ബസ്‌ കാത്തങ്ങനെ നില്‍പാണ്‌. (ഇതാണു മലയാളത്തിന്റെ പ്രശ്നം. അനന്തരവന്‍മാരെ കാത്തു നില്‍ക്കുന്നത്‌ കാരണവരാണെന്നു ധ്വനി വരും. എന്നാലങ്ങനെയല്ല.) എബിന്‍ ഒന്നിലും ആല്‍വിന്‍ എല്‍ കെ ജിയിലും. അമേരിക്കന്‍ പൗരന്മാര്‍. കലിപ്പ്‌ കക്ഷികള്‍.

'ഹായ്‌ ഡോണ്‍,' ഇന്നൊടിച്ച കുട വീശിക്കൊണ്ട്‌ മൂത്തവന്‍ ചാടിയിറങ്ങി. ഇളയവന്‍ ആയുധം സ്കൂളില്‍ ഉപേക്ഷിച്ചെന്നു തോന്നുന്നു. ചേച്ചിയുടെ വീട്ടില്‍ പോകുന്നത്‌ ചായ കുടിക്കാന്‍ മാത്രമല്ല. യെവന്‍മാരോട്‌ കളിച്ച്‌ അല്‍പം ഇംഗ്ലീഷ്‌ പറയാന്‍ പഠിക്കണം. ഇംഗ്ലീഷ്‌ സിനിമ കണ്ടത്‌ കൊണ്ടു മാത്രം ഫലമില്ലെന്ന് ഇതിനോടകം മനസ്സിലായി. ഇനി സ്പോക്കണ്‍ ഇംഗ്ലീഷ്‌ ക്ലാസ്സില്‍ പോകുന്നതും മോശമല്ലേ.

'അമ്മാ, ലുക്‌ വാട്‌ ഐ ലേണ്‍ട്‌ ടുഡേ', പയ്യന്‍സ്‌ വിരല്‍ വായില്‍ത്തിരുകി ഒരു വിസിലടി. ഇന്ത്യയിലെത്തി ഒരു മാസമേ ആയുള്ളൂവെങ്കിലും സ്കൂളില്‍ പോയി ഒരു ആഴ്ചയേ ആയുള്ളൂവെങ്കിലും സാംസ്കാരികോത്‌ഗ്രഥനം തുടങ്ങിക്കഴിഞ്ഞു. വെരി ഗുഡ്‌. സ്പോക്കണ്‍ ഇംഗ്ലീഷിനു പകരം വിസിലടി, വായ്‌നോട്ടം എന്നീ അവശകലകള്‍ പഠിപ്പിക്കാമെന്നൊരു ഡീല്‍ വെച്ചാലോ?

ചൂടുദോശ തിന്നുകൊണ്ട്‌ പതുക്കെ ഞാന്‍ ഹിഡന്‍ അജണ്ട നടപ്പാക്കിത്തുടങ്ങി: 'എബിന്‍, വാട്‌ ഹാവ്‌ യു ലേണ്‍ട്‌ ടുഡേ?' 'വെല്‍...ഇംഗ്ലീഷ്‌ ആന്റ്‌ മല്യാലം,' എന്ന് അമേരിക്കന്‍ മറുപടി. ചട്ടുകത്തില്‍ 'ചൂടെസ്റ്റ്‌' ദോശയുമായി മഞ്ജുച്ചേച്ചി വന്നു: 'വൗ, വാട്‌ ഡിഡ്‌ യു ലേണ്‍ ഇന്‍ മലയാളം?' 'ഐ ലേണ്‍ട്‌ റ ആന്റ്‌ ത...ആന്റ്‌ ഓള്‍സോ ട്ര.'ചേച്ചിയും ഞാനും പരസ്പരം നോക്കി വാ പൊളിച്ചു. ലിപിയെങ്ങാനും ഇതിനിടെ പരിഷ്കരിച്ചോ? അമേരിക്കയിലായിരുന്നത്‌ കൊണ്ട്‌ അറിഞ്ഞില്ലെന്ന് ചേച്ചിക്ക്‌ പറയാം. ഞാന്‍ എന്ത്‌ ചെയ്യും? രണ്ടും കല്‍പിച്ച്‌ ഞാനങ്ങ്‌ ചോദിച്ചു: 'ഡാ, വാട്ടീസ്‌ ദിസ്‌ ട്ര?' 'ഒ...ഓ,' എബിന്‍ കാര്‍ടൂണ്‍ സ്റ്റൈലില്‍ പുച്ഛിച്ചു, 'ഇറ്റ്സ്‌ ദ്‌ ഫ്ലോര്‍.'

തറ!!! ചേച്ചി ആര്‍ത്തു ചിരിക്കുമ്പോള്‍ ഞാന്‍ ഒരു ചരിത്രപ്രഹേളികയ്ക്ക്‌ ഉത്തരം കണ്ടെത്തുകയായിരുന്നു. പണ്ട്‌ പണ്ട്‌, ബ്രിട്ടീഷ്‌ റെസിഡണ്ട്‌ സായ്‌വ്‌ പുത്രനെ മുക്കോല സെ. തോമസ്‌ മലയാളം മീഡിയം സ്കൂളില്‍ ചേര്‍ത്ത ദിവസം, ശബ്ദതാരാവലിയില്‍ രണ്ട്‌ പദങ്ങള്‍ പ്രത്യക്ഷപ്പെട്ടു: ട്ര ആന്റ്‌ ട്രിവാന്‍ഡ്രം. ഈ പ്രബന്ധത്തിന്‌ ഞാന്‍ ഇങ്ങനെ പേരും വെച്ചു: ട്രിവാണ്ട്രത്തിന്റെ ഉദ്ഭവചരിതം - തിരുച്ചിറപ്പള്ളിയെ തൃശ്ശിനാപ്പിള്ളിയും മംഗളൂരിനെ മംഗലാപുരവുമാക്കിയ മലയാളി സാമ്രാജ്യത്വത്തിന്റെ നിറുകയിലേറ്റ ആന്‍ഗ്ലോ-സാക്സണ്‍ പ്രഹരം.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Three wishes

“Ask for three wishes. It will be granted,” Manju chechi told me as we herded her little sons across the beach to Madre de Deos Church. During my two two-year stints in Thiruvananthapuram, I had never visited the famed pilgrim centre on the outskirts of the city. I regret it now. Vettukad church, as it is known locally, is a picnic spot too. Overlooking the Arabian Sea, the small church seems blessed.

The children are excited by the vastness of the church premises and the presence of sea. When they are tired of chasing each other, they sit on the foyer, narrating improvised stories. One (or all) of Manju chechi’s wishes will be for them. She too is new to this church and every first time in a church, you will be granted three wishes. That’s what we have been told when we were little children.

I have been so fascinated by the opportunity for easy gratification, without effort and without penance, that I drew up three wishes every time I went to a strange church. Almost all sets of wishes concerned the family’s health, my education and some childhood fantasies, which included some miraculous interventions to win over my first crush, a chubby girl who attended catechism with me.

I devised plans to face her, but never executed any of it. In due course I forgot about that wish and found another sweetheart. Most of the other wishes were granted. I never topped the class, but passed out in “flying colours” each year. Ultimately, the three-wishes scheme was forgotten as I bunked masses and classes without guilt and without excitement. But wishes remained, nevertheless.

An accidental visit to the church caught me off guard. I could not pinpoint three wishes. There are no exams to pass, no diseases to cure and no hearts to win. I have almost learned cycling and swimming after praying for it for years. Postal stamps of Papua New Guinea and Dominican Republic no longer needed providence to come by. Even my younger brother has abandoned the stamp albums.

Since an opportunity to realize three wishes could not be wasted, I widened my search as a politically conscious, socially responsible being. Then I realized the fallacy. Religion can only help the personal. In public affairs, faith doesn’t move mountains. What would god think if he got the following wish list: 1) Please make George Bush repent so he dismantles his nuke pile; 2) Please give some wisdom to Bin Laden so he doesn’t mistake ordinary men for nations and annihilate them; 3) Please tell Paul Wolfowitz not to make the Miserables more miserable.

We can’t pray to god to make all men (and women) good. If he could, he would have made them so despite the serpent and the apple. I wish I wasn’t told that war and violence, poverty and famine, greed and selfishness can’t be wished away. Then I would have lots of wishes to feed this make-believe system.

War songs and bar cries (oops, the other way)



“Your generation’s taste is pathetic. How could you listen to something like that? It won’t even last a fortnight”

"Maybe. But I like it now. And did you like 'your' song because you knew it would last forever?"

"Anyway it lasted. Our time was full of good music. Now times have changed. Everything is mediocre. Too populist."

"True. A lot of us like such songs. You like 'your' songs and we like 'our' songs."

"But what we liked are the best."

"That's what you say."

"That's the truth."

"Wait a minute, isn't that what we call fundamentalism?"

"Do you remember that masterpiece composed by…aha…hmm…that's the one…"

Someone was sensible enough to intervene so that we could finish our pegs in peace. Binges recur thanks to such souls who act as fire alarms. Like them, a potential fundamentalist is ever present in every joint. Maybe people are more fundamental when they are drunk.

Toddy shops had banned talks on communism and communalism through decrees written on the wooden panels that screened the rooms. Understandably. But what made them such fascists so as to ban music on their premises? Sometimes music can be a great divider too.

Years ago during a festival in Kazhakkoottam, we met up a group of friends in a shady bar. We were still lingering on to the university campus despite the vacation. We drank up brandy that looked like the proverbial daru in old Hindi movies and smelled like varnish.

Our troupe was poor in resources but rich in music. I too sang. (Those days not everyone had a mobile phone to reproduce drunken songs the next day.) Admiring glances and appreciating sounds came from the other tables. A tipsy man came over to us and requested the Tamil singer to repeat that Ilayaraja hit. Why not? We obliged.

The next request came from the other table. This time it was RD Burman. Why not? We competed with the blaring speaker put up by the festival organizers on the road. The thrilled juniors SPB and Kishore Kumar strained their ears for more applause. But the first admirer was less admiring now: "When I say Tamil, only Tamil."

"Who are you to say that? We would hear only Kishore Kumar songs," retorted the second admirer. Tamil! Hindi! Ilayaraja! Burman! We hummed the first lines of many songs as if in an Antakshari at the command of the rival gangs of Kazhakkoottam.

With years of experience in cheering fisticuffs, we scooted one by one. The goons of Ilayaraja and Burman were now at swords point and between them the main singer, Junior SPB, was waiting for the next command. Fortunately, we could drag out the sloshed singer before the first beer bottle smashed against the table.

Wish the bar manager had the old toddy shop wisdom.

Our songs, your songs.